With Labor Day just around the corner, I can't help but laugh when I recall my very own "labor day's". Those times were filled with excitement, anxiety and fear of the unknown
Labor Day received official Federal recognition as a national holiday in 1894 and celebrates the economic and social contributions of the American worker.
I am sure that most will agree that childbirth. the nine months preceding and the 18+ years that follow certainly exemplify the word, “work!”
The time as arrived to dispel the Misconception of Labor Day expectations.
In today's world, family planning is particularly popular among many young couples. These somewhat naive, soon to be parents, are intent on making their mark on the world, starting careers and having their “ducks in a row”....before starting a family.
The word “trying” is often used in reference to starting a family. Regardless of whether you're “trying” or shouting to the rooftops, “whoops” or "WHAT"; grab a life jacket and hang on tight, because you're in the same boat. That's right, the same rocky, wave riding boat; so lift your head from your porcelain paradise and remember that meals are always temporary!
Initially, the giddy excitement of knowing that you are the vessel that carries another life is overwhelming. The desire to learn everything possible about this nine-month journey is exceptionally strong and soon-to-be moms endeavor to read every book and article ever written about this expedition. Detailed explanations are sought about everything from mood swings to delivery. This information, along with advice from friends, relatives and strangers, should be taken with a grain of salt. No pregnancy is book perfect and the likelihood that your baby will be the next Gerber® Baby, is slim to none.
First time expectant moms document weekly changes, know the exact week and day of the adventure and treasure each moment; second and subsequent babies, not so much. Ironically, while excitement abounds around the first time expectant mom, the enthusiasm fades quickly with each additional announcement.
As a new mom, with no previous babysitting experience, I was totally unprepared for the responsibility I was about to accept and created the following list based on my experience.
Daily if possible! For the next four to seven years, it will be necessary to tote a bag full of items everywhere you go. This bag will contain a variety of items based on the child’s age; some of which may include: bottles, pacifiers, diapers, baby oil, baby lotion, wet wipes, toys, coloring books, rattles, baby nose aspirator and so on. In addition, it will be a long time before you will be able to enjoy a dinner out without saying the following statements:
LABOR DAY ARRIVES
It will seem like an eternity awaiting the arrival of your bundle of joy and you will soon learn that birthing classes didn't tell you all of the facts. The classes actually made labor sound bearable. The phrase “you will feel discomfort” had to have been written by a man. Discomfort, DISCOMFORT; try anguish, torment, agony or torture, as these words better define the pain.
The popular thing today seems to be “natural” childbirth; personally, “natural” is overrated. My advice is to begin asking for drugs before you really even need them to ensure that you avoid being told, “I’m sorry, it’s too late.” Actually, I see no reason NOT to be knocked out like they did in my mother’s day. Having my baby cleaned, powdered, diapered and then handed to you doesn’t sound half bad.
Last but not least, recognize that your spouse has absolutely no clue what to do, what is happening or what to say. Totally insensitive comments are inevitable, so brace yourself.
Hubby: Do you want to watch TV to take your mind off things?
Me: Do you want to retain the shape of a TV?
Hubby: Just breathe.
Me: Great advice Einstein, the one thing I didn’t have to think about.
Me: I am focusing, on the PAIN!
Hubby: It’s almost over.
Me: Yea, right, that’s what you said 6 hours ago!
Hubby: I love you.
Me: Yea, yea, like that’ll ever work again.
Hubby: I see the head.
Me: Well, Hot Diggity Dog
Me: You’ll think push when I push you out of this fourth floor window
Hubby: The doctor is on his way
Me: Here or does he have another golf game?
Hubby: Do you want some crushed ice?
Me: Yea, stick a block under my fist and I’ll crush it!
When everything is said and done, you will have experienced the ultimate human achievement and will take home with you a beautiful, dependent little life that has absolutely no regard for your fatigue, hunger or emotional state. Years later you'll discover that successful parenting results in a beautiful, dependent teenager that has absolutely no regard for your fatigue, hunger or emotional state.
Happy Labor Day!